wow

things are realllly stressful. and its not even coming from school. i honestly love my mom but sometimes i feel like i cant live with her. she puts an enormous amount of pressure on me that i know myself that i cant handle. its like she thinks that i have no personality, no character, that im nothing unless i have good grades and at least a 2000 SAT score. she doesnt care about my problems with God nor does she care that i wanted to say my last goodbye to one of my best friends before she leaves to college. i wish that i was naturally smart as fuck sometimes. i really do. but why is it so hard to please my mom for just one day.. i cant go a single day without fighting with her at least twice, whether its about grades or how i dress or how i talk or my friends or my boyfriend or how messy my room is or how i drive or my SAT score or how i should buy presents for my counselor (what the fuck much LOL) or how i use my phone so much (when she already took my texting away -_____-) or even how i dont walk the dogs enough. like seriously WHAT THE FUCK. im not fucken supergirl. im not a perfect daughter or student. i cant memorize ap bio formulas in five minutes or finish pre cal problems in ten. i want to enjoy my life and live every minute without regretting it. i do work hard because i want to. so far im giving my best in junior year because i dont want to mess up like last year. i want to stay committed to what i have right now because they mean so much to me. she thinks im always wrong because i have my priorities "messed up." but are they really messed up? that i want to spend more time with my friends? that i want to get to closer to God? that i want to join new clubs and get more involved at school? she thinks my entire life should be revolved around 2 things: my grades and my SAT score. which is pretty sad since those two arent gonna be that great hahaha. so im sorry to disappoint and im sorry that im a failure. im sorry that i care more about my friends and cousins than my grades and im sorry that i like to talk on the phone at night with my boyfriend instead of reading that super thick apush textbook. im sorry that i cant be what you want me to be.

aights peace

whoooo!

tonight was fucking legit :)

but starting with yesterday... had a really good day at school lively art exam was easy as pie :) ended at 1130 cus of minimum day! went to albertacos with michelle esther and riya went back to esthers place and ate and talked and literally laughed our asses off over nothing LOL. then heffy came over and we started getting ready. went to irvine spectrum and shopped it was so fucking hot ugh :( then kevin picked me up and we went to eat with his friend. went to his work and he let me take his car :) but i got fucking lost on the way to target and ended up at some weird place -_____- got back kevin got off work so he took me on a tour of irvine! such a nice city im freaken jealous. i saw northwood for the first time and honestly oxfords shit compared to it hahaha so disappointing. then he took me to the "signal hill" of irvine i think it was called suicide hill.. and we had to hike up there at fucken 9 at night when it was super dark and shit and i was wearing my sandals so my feet hurt like fuck LOL so much complaining but yeah -______- but the view was worth it i guess.. :) got home and my rents were already sleeping so i couldve stayed out longer aish! showered and ktfo.

todaayayay! someone fucking bailed on me -_____- you know who you are! my mom woke me up at 8 told me if i wanted to go out today that i had to study a shitload of korean and practice cello.. which i havent done in forever tehe. went out to eat chipotle AGH my cravings have finally been satisfied :) then went with mudder to the mall and bought a shitload of stuff hehehe i love shopping with my mom. went to the bank to make my debit card but it was closed :( got boba and went back home. to be honest im kinda getting sick of driving LOL she makes me drive fucking everywhere. anyways got home and started getting ready to go out but someone bailed out on me AGAIN fail mang. so made different plansSsSsSss.. my rents went out to their friends so i sneaked the car out ;o) i felt so brave hahaaha. picked up riya and went to irvine to surprise my boyfriend at work even though he bailed on me all day -_____- oh yeah! sorry justin for bailing heheh went to cha for tea again to eat LOL chilled and lotsa small shit happened prettty fucken funny HAAHAH. got back to cypress and went to starbucks got a drink and then to boba loca to chill drove around to waste the extra gas LOL dropped riya off home and finally got home.. and now im tired as fuckkkk but my mom just called me to tell me to stay awake so we can watch a movie -_____- so gonna go wash up and talk with my boo :) peace out mangs enjoy labor day weekend :)